"So Many Roads."
One of the last songs Grateful Dead founding member Jerry Garcia performed in concert before his death in 1995 is called “So Many Roads.” Aside from the obvious nod to the many roads traveled by the Grateful Dead in its storied career, the song’s symbolism has deep layers. Garcia once noted that longtime band lyricist Robert Hunter’s words in that song were biographical and written from Garcia’s point of view. And for Garcia, those roads were often rocky.
Garcia struggled with substance use and other major health issues for years. He died in his sleep the day he checked into a rehab clinic on Aug. 9, 1995. It was a devastating day for Deadheads across the world – including me. I had recently graduated high school and was looking forward to seeing a lot of Dead shows once a fall tour was announced. Of course, that never happened. The night of Jerry’s death, me and a couple of close friends sat on the green of the 8th hole at Sunset Golf Course in Longmont, Colorado and blasted the Dead on a boombox as we drowned our sorrows in weed and whiskey.
I would spend many years self-medicating pain as someone who struggled with hard drugs like crack cocaine and crystal meth. But when I asked for help, entered recovery and got sober, I gained a new appreciation for the things that had long-brought me joy – especially the Grateful Dead’s music and songs like “So Many Roads.”
People in recovery have indeed traveled many roads – we’ve seen a lot. I believe that there is tremendous collective wisdom in our stories that could help others who are struggling. That’s why our So Many Roads initiative of the Back From Broken Foundation is one of the pillars of our organization. Bringing the BFBF’s “We Can Recover” message to schools, rehabilitation centers, detox centers, drug courts, and jails/prisons is a crucial part of our mission. The So Many Roads initiative meets individuals “where they are” on their journeys while promoting the vital message that recovery is indeed possible for everyone. Often, that’ll involve me telling my story, as I’ve done many times across the country. But we’ll also feature speakers from all walks of life. For example, if we’re holding an event in front of a younger audience, it makes sense for them to hear from another young person. When we take our message to jails and prisons, it would make sense to feature the story of someone who had also been incarcerated.
The So Many Roads program will also help empower others to craft and share their own recovery stories through storytelling workshops. This is how we pass the baton.
The BFBF’s So Many Roads program wants to put significant emphasis on outreach to rural and low-income communities that often lack sufficient resources to support those who are struggling with addiction or mental health issues. Your financial support will help us do that.
Yes, Jerry Garcia’s struggles cost him his life – but he died trying. And he left behind a body of work that will continue to provide countless wonderful, lasting memories for generations to come. So, as Jerry would sing, there’s nothin’ left for us to do but “smile, smile, smile” as we travel these many roads together.
“So many roads to ease my soul.”
